


Play Your Ace

by regardinglove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Castiel, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Bisexual Dean, College, Cuddling, Drinking, Drug Use, Fluff, M/M, Partying, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3774877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regardinglove/pseuds/regardinglove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is okay with no one knowing that he's asexual, but that all gets blown out of the water when Cas gets chosen for 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' with Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play Your Ace

**Author's Note:**

> I'm glad that I finally got this fic written! I'm questioning right now, but I know that I'm either demi or ace, and the lack of representation in fandom is a bit offputting. While it is great that other sexualities are being recognized and embraced in fanfic, I thought I'd throw a little asexual action into the pot. This is my first time writing an asexual character though, so I tried to do my best to make it accurate to the asexual experience. Most of what is written are things that I've experienced before, or what I've heard other people say about asexuality. 
> 
> Also, if you're asexual and have been through the things Cas has, never believe a person when they say that your sexuality does not exist or is weird. Your sexuality and you are valid and real. Never forget that.

“Cas, c’mon! Anna’s parties are always the best and you'll be missing out if you don't go. Please?”

Cas looks up from the book he’s reading to throw Ruby a glare. “For the last time, I’m not going to Anna’s party with you. I hate parties, and isn't Sam going with you anyway?”

“Yeah...but why not you?” Ruby whines, throwing down the Biology homework she’s working on. “You can’t miss out on the biggest party of the year. Everyone at Lawrence University will think your a dork if you don’t go. You don’t want that when we still have another year in this hellhole of a college, do you?”

“I couldn’t care less about social standing,” Cas mutters under his breath as he brings his copy of A Tale of Two Cities up to his face again, his eyes trying to take in the words before him. However, that’s impossible with Ruby pouting right in his line of sight, making little whimpers as she throws Cas her best puppy dog eyes.

“...Just for a few hours?”

“No!” Cas practically yells, which gets him a glare from the librarian. He puts down the book and runs a hand through his hair, then gestures for Ruby to follow him out into the hallway for privacy. They pick up their items and head out, Cas turning towards her the minute the door closes. “For goodness sakes, Ruby! Why do you need me to come with you? You’re outgoing enough and you know everyone in the school. Why do you need your socially awkward best friend to accompany you?”

Ruby groans like it’s obvious and takes a seat on the ground. Cas follows. “Because you need to get out more, Cas! When is the last time you’ve been to a function that didn’t involve your church? Oh wait, I can answer that! Five months ago when you broke up with Crowley! Five months, Cas! I’m sick of you sitting around in your room wallowing over Crowley of all people. He wasn’t good for you anyway, so why don’t you get out there again?”

Cas curls in on himself and brings his knees up to his chest. “It isn’t that easy…”

“Oh yes it is! Look, I know Crowley was a douche who hurt you, but that doesn’t mean all guys will be that way. You’ll never be able to get over him if you don’t allow yourself to meet new people.”

He turns towards the wall and lays his head against it. Of course Ruby knows what happened between him and Crowley, but she doesn’t know to what extent. It wasn’t just that Crowley treated him like absolute crap. If he was just an asshole, Cas would have been over him months ago. The reason Cas can’t go back out there is because Crowley destroyed any sense of confidence he had. He was the only person in the world who Cas thought he could trust coming out to and that went to hell. He can recall their final conversation like it was spoken yesterday:

_‘Crowley, I’m asexual.’_

_‘No you’re not, darling. Only plants can reproduce asexually.’_

_‘No...it’s a type of sexuality. It means I don’t feel sexual attraction to you or anyone, for that matter.’_

_‘You’re lying. You just don’t want to sleep with me. Don’t be a liar, Angel.’_

_‘I’m not lying! I couldn’t sleep with you even if I tried. Why won’t you believe me?’_

_‘Because asexuality isn’t real, Angel. You probably made it up to hide that you’re broken, didn’t you? Nobody will love you if you don’t put out, so God help the next person who gets stuck with you. You’re just a frigid, zealous prude who doesn’t deserve love. You are nothing.’_

He feels his fingers curl into his palm as the words play again in his mind. All the old insecurities hit him like a tidal wave, and the next thing he knows his whole body is shaking with tears, the long ignored feelings coming to the surface. Ruby’s arms are around him in a second, trying her best to calm him down with her whispered ‘Don’t cry here’ and ‘People are staring, you dumbass,' which is the best he’ll be able to get from the girl with the empathy of a fish.

“This is why you need more friends,” she replies when he’s calmed down again. “I’m crappy when it comes to the feelings thing.”

Cas wipes away the remaining tears and looks at her. “He _broke_ me. The things that Crowley said…”

“Hey,” Ruby interrupts, pulling him into an awkward embrace. “Crowley is a loser who knows nothing. You’re a bit of weirdo and I hate that trench coat you insist on wearing everywhere, but otherwise you’re a great guy whom anyone would like to be friends with...or date.”

Cas sighs as he gets up from the ground. He helps Ruby up too, and the girl lightly punches in in the arm.

“Just consider it, okay? I think it would be good for you. Who knows? Maybe you just need a one night stand to get back on your feet. I know a few guys who are gonna be there who are pretty good lays.”

Cas laughs lightly to himself because that’s obviously the last thing he needs, but he goes along with it anyway. “I will consider it,” he replies as picks up his books. “I need to get to Calc, but I’ll find you afterwards okay?”

“I’ll be in the Caf for lunch after class. I heard there is gonna be french fries today and I wanna get there early. Don’t forget about the party!” she yells as she walks away, leaving Cas behind.

* * *

He doesn’t know why he’s here. After his discussion with Ruby he decided that he wasn’t ready to go out again, and yet here he is standing in front of Anna Milton’s vast estate, gazing on as people run by with beer bottles in their hands while others dance on the front lawn. It’s ridiculous. He really needs to just go home… **  
**

“Cas! You came!”

 _Dammit._ Ruby appears with her boyfriend, Sam, draped over her arm. They are both clearly tipsy already, a bottle of Jack tucked beneath Ruby’s arm as she stumbles forward. “Come on in! We’re just about to start a game of truth or dare inside!”

“I really don’t want to…”

“Oh c’mon, Cas! Don’t be a prude!” Ruby calls out.

He freezes. _‘You’re just a frigid, zealous prude who doesn’t deserve love.’_

He doesn’t get to argue though before Ruby walks forward and takes his hand, dragging both Sam and him into the crowd of bodies. People from all walks of life at Lawrence University are here, Cas notices. The marching band is playing a game of drunken Twister in the corner, while the cheerleaders take turns doing jello shots with the football team in the dining room. Loud music blares throughout the vast space, and Cas wonders how anyone hears anything through the din.

When they enter the living room where the game is being played, Cas finds it is filled with Ruby’s usual group of friends. Ash and Pam are in the corner taking drags from a pipe. Kevin is huddled in the middle of the room as he looks over one of his books, while Anna huddles closely behind on the fraying plaid couch, trying to get a read on the text too. Meg is, as always, draped over Azazel’s body like a blanket on the floor, and Sam is tucked neatly beneath Ruby’s arm when she and Cas take a seat on the ground. He doesn’t know why Ruby is coercing him into playing; it looks like they’ve got more than enough people already.

But all becomes clear when Cas turns his head to the right and finds the one and only Dean Winchester practically five feet from him, taking a long drag from his beer bottle as he taps his foot on the ground. He’s even prettier off the football field; his freckles stand out in the low light and his eyelashes are incredibly long. His hair is lightly tousled and his lips curl around the bottle’s neck as he listens to Ruby go on about one of their classes. It’s infuriating, because now he knows exactly why Ruby dragged him into this game. She’s trying to get Cas to talk to Dean, the guy he’s been admiring from afar for the past year.

But why bother? Dean’s a sexually active man; everyone knows it. He’s always hooking up with someone, and never has Cas ever seen him in a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. Dean wants all the sexual parts of a relationship, and Cas can never give him that. So why is Ruby completely hellbent on pushing them together? It would never work.

“Truth or dare, you all know the rules,” Ruby calls as everyone turns in her direction. “If you can’t answer a question or do a dare, you drink. I’ll go first, and I think it’s only appropriate to begin with our lovely host.” She throws a playful wink over at Anna and crosses her arms. “Truth or dare, Milton?”

Anna purses her lips as she leans back into the couch. “Uh, truth.”

Ruby throws her a wicked grin. “Okay Anna...who did you hook up with earlier tonight?”

The entire room turns towards Anna as she blushes deep red. “Oh c’mon, Ruby! I don’t want to say it…”

“Rules are rules,” Ash chimes in from the corner, releasing a puff of smoke from his mouth. “Unless you want to partake in one of Ruby’s dares instead, but I would advise against that.”

“Okay,” Anna replies as she curls into a ball. “I...I slept with Balthazar a few hours ago.”

Wolf whistles erupt from the room as Cas leans back against the wall, unimpressed. Truth be told, Cas has no idea why everyone is so surprised. Anyone can see that Anna and Balth have been making eyes at one another for months now. They were bound to get together.

“Okay, Sam is next! Truth or dare?” Anna declares as the attention focuses towards Ruby’s boyfriend. He can feel Dean’s body turn next to him, and Cas tries to ignore the proximity.

“Truth,” Sam says, and then leans into Ruby’s embrace. “Ask me anything, Anna.”

“Okay...how many times a week do you masturbate?”

A collective groan rings out across the room at her question, and Anna turns triumphant when everyone watches Sam’s face turn pink.

“Depends on the week,” he gets out between clenched teeth. “Maybe...five?”

“Add that to the list of things I didn’t need to know about my little brother,” Dean calls out from beside him, and Cas jumps when he feels Dean’s knee knock against his. “Right, Cas?”

Cas freezes. Dean Winchester is talking to him, and he called him by his preferred nickname? How would…

“Dean’s next!” Sam calls from across the room. He points his bottle at Dean. “Truth or dare, brother?”

Dean leans back against the wall and lolls his head into his hands. “That’s a tough one, but I’ll go with...dare.”

Sam quirks his eyebrow up in surprise and then Ruby’s at his ear in a flash, whispering who knows what. Cas doesn’t like the look that comes on Sam’s face when Ruby pulls away.

“Dean...I dare you to spend ‘seven minutes in heaven’ with one person in this room. Your pick of who.”

Cas relaxes once the dare is given. There’s no way that he would be picked. Dean knows everyone in this room, and rumor has it that he hooked up with Anna at least once. She would be the obvious choice, or maybe even Ash. The looks that they throw one another could easily be read as something more than just platonic. He feels his body fall back into the wall as he plays with the grain in the wood floor, all anxieties about talking to Dean forgotten.

“Uh...I choose Cas.”

His hand clenches and he glances up like a deer in the headlights. “Come again?”

He flinches when Dean’s hand comes down to rest on his. “Would you...go to seven minutes in heaven...y’know...with me?”

Cas doesn’t know what to do. He looks over at Ruby for advice, but the girl is just winking at him like this is all her idea, which clearly it is. He feels the panic building inside because there’s no way that he can go into a closet with _Dean freaking Winchester_ of all people. Sure, Cas loves kissing, relishes in it actually, but anything beyond that is a big no. It freaks him out. If he goes in there, who’s to say that Dean will be satisfied with just making out? He knows how the game goes, and usually it is not just kissing that occurs in the closet.

But instead of doing the smart thing and declining the offer, Cas’s need to never back down to a challenge rises. He finds himself blushing as he gets up from the ground, and then gestures for Dean to follow him.

 _What the hell are you doing?_ His inner voice yells. _You sir, are an idiot._

He can hear the wolf whistles ring out behind him, but he pays them no attention. All he can focus on is getting through these next few minutes in tact without embarrassing himself completely. He again wonders why he didn’t just politely turn Dean down; clearly his pride is bigger than he thought.

He opens the door to the first closet he finds and groans when he realizes that it is the tiniest closet he’s ever laid eyes on. There are lots of winter coats in there too, which leaves little room between Dean and Cas’s bodies when they push into the space. The only good thing about the closet is that there is an overhead light, so he won’t have to fumble around awkwardly in the dark.

Dean closes the door behind him when he enters, and then the next thing Cas knows his body is flush against Dean’s toned one. He can practically feel the muscles contracting under Dean’s Zeppelin t-shirt, trying to give Cas room. However, it's futile when there’s an unknown object poking into his back, propelling Cas forward anyway.

“So,” Dean says awkwardly as he brings his hand up to Cas’s shoulder. “How are we gonna do this?”

“I guess...that I’m going to kiss you,” Cas says carefully. He watches Dean’s face, and when he gets a little nod of approval he pushes forward. His lips hit Dean’s clumsily, but he can’t deny that he loves the warmth that spreads through him at the touch. He hasn’t kissed anyone since Crowley, and he forgot how much he adores it.

He pushes closer and captures Dean’s lower lip with his own, grinning when a little moan escapes Dean’s mouth. Cas’s hands come up to cup Dean’s face, forcing their lips together, and he can taste the beer and whiskey combo on Dean’s breath.

“Cas,” Dean moans between kisses, running a hand through Cas’s hair. “Want you. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“Wait,” Cas stops, breaking their lips apart. “Really?”

He looks up into Dean’s face and sees the redness there. “I’ve....kinda been admiring you since freshman year. We had art class together and your paintings were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. You’ve got a gift, Cas.”

Cas doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just kisses Dean low and heavy again. “I’ve been...admiring...you too,” Cas gets out between pecks.

“Ugh, I need you, Cas,” Dean whispers into his ear, and then he leans down to peck a line of kisses onto his collarbone. Cas melts into the embrace...until Dean begins to grind on him.  

That’s when Cas’s worries come back again. He tries to play it cool; they probably have already been in the room for at least three minutes. There’s no way they could get  _that_ far before the time is up, but his worries become greater when he feels Dean’s grip get tighter in his hair. He tries to back away, but Dean does not take the hint and thrusts forward, his obvious pants situation grinding up against Cas’s thigh.

“So hot,” Dean mutters into Cas’s neck, and he gasps audibly when Dean bites a mark there. “Gonna make you feel good. Gonna suck you-”

“I’m asexual!” Cas cries out as he pushes Dean away, the air suddenly too hot and heavy. He glances up into Dean’s confused gaze and automatically is hit with the insecurities again. _Freak. Frigid. Unloveable._ “I...I have to go,” Cas gets out, and then he’s pushing open the door and running into the throngs of people.

He ignores Dean yelling his name.

* * *

When the cool night air hits his body, only then does Cas feel free again. He berates himself for ever going into that closet with Dean in the first place. Stupid. That’s what it was. He was being dumb. Maybe he is broken like Crowley said; who would give up the opportunity to get into Dean Winchester’s pants? **  
**

He wants to cry, but doesn’t allow himself to. Not here, at least. Instead, Cas gets angry. Why can’t he be normal? Why is he part of the one percent of the population that cannot feel sexual attraction? Why is he a freak? He doesn’t notice that he’s kicking the flowers in Anna’s garden until a palm lands on his shoulder.

“Cas...Cas!”

He freezes under the touch and turns around. Dean is standing there with a concerned look in his eyes, gaze flickering over Cas’s features at a rapid pace.

“What do you want?” Cas says coldly. “Did you come to make fun of me? Everyone gather around! Today we’re featuring the sexless freak!”

“Hey!” Dean throws back, and then guides him over to the bench in the garden. “I don’t buy the whole ‘asexuals are freaks’ crap and I know you don’t either, so don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Cas crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Dean. “How would you know, Dean? We’ve only just met; you don’t know what I’ve been through-”

“And you don’t know crap about me either, Cas! But I do know that a person’s sexuality does not define who they are. Hell, you know the crap I’ve been called over the years for being bi? Try loose, slut, and whore on for size. Do I let that define me? Hell no. People are gonna try to tell you who you are for your entire life, but you’ve just gotta push back and define yourself, okay?”

Cas fidgets with the edge of his t-shirt and looks away from Dean as he calms. “You’re right; I don’t believe that I’m a freak because of my sexuality...or lack thereof. Not really. But I’ve been burned before because of it, you have to understand. Nobody knows that I’m ace expect for my ex...and you now, I guess.” He laughs humorlessly. “My ex told me that I could never be loved unless I ‘put out,’ as he eloquently called it, so I’ve been...a little wary about dating recently. But...I do like you, Dean. I really do. I’ve seen you answer questions in class and I like that you’re smart. I like that you are not afraid to put your own ideas out there, and damn if I’m not jealous of the way you own your sexuality like it’s no one’s business.

“But I’m also aware that you’re sexual and I’m not. How would that even work?”

Dean reaches over and lays a hand on Cas’s knee. “Is this okay?” he asks, and Cas nods his approval. “Look, I know what I must come off like because I have a lot of sex, but that’s not the only thing that’s important to me. I’ve been in a long term relationship before with a girl named Lisa. Dated for about a year before I moved here for college, and we didn’t have sex until six months into our relationship. Yeah, it’s important to me, but...let’s just say that I’ve been on good terms with my hand for a few years now and I think I can manage.”

“Dean!” Cas exclaims, then laughs when Dean throws him a grin.

“What? It’s the truth!” he replies, and then breaks down into laughter by Cas’s side. The two of them giggle until they can’t anymore, and then Dean takes Cas's hand in his own. “Basically, I’m willing to give this a try if you are. It may be the best thing of our lives, or it may fall apart like the dry cornbread in the Caf. That’s what college is for though, right? Figuring things out?”

Cas leans into Dean. “I like cuddling, and kissing, and possibly grinding once we know each other better. Anything beyond that though make me want to curl into a ball and hide. I just don’t like it. I never have.”

“Easy enough,” Dean whispers into his ear, and then brings his lips to Cas’s cheek. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Cas replies, and then moves until he’s facing Dean again. “This is okay too.”

When their lips touch this time, all of the tension from earlier is gone. Cas is absolutely elated, and he lets himself melt into Dean’s careful touches. They fit well together, Dean figuring out what Cas does and doesn’t like quickly. And when they break apart with big grins on their faces, Cas feels something new in his chest, a little twinge that has never been present before. He wonders if this is what Ruby feels when she looks at Sam. He wonders if this is the beginning of love.

The rest of the night is spent curled up under the stars together. When Dean gets cold, Cas offers Dean his trench coat, and even he has to admit that it is a little dorky. They laugh about it as Cas explains the stars to Dean, pointing out his favorite constellations in the sky. And when the night is over and Dean drives Cas back home, he feels like Crowley’s words are finally shoved aside.

Cas can’t help it; he grins to himself as he walks up the steps to his home, and thinks that maybe parties aren’t all that bad after all.

 


End file.
